In psychology, incongruence results when we experience unpleasant thoughts and feelings if there’s a difference between our ideal and perceived selves. It’s part of Carl Rogers’s concepts in psychology and is related to congruence. If we stray too far from our ideal self, we experience anxiety, frustration, and related health problems. According to his theories, it is impossible for a person to be completely overlapped in congruence, as in being the perfect self. Except for Jennifer Aniston, of course.
Understanding Incongruence in Psychology
Incongruence is a psychological term that describes the disconnect between our perceived and ideal selves. When our perceived self, or how we see ourselves, does not match up with our ideal self, or how we want to see ourselves, we experience incongruence.
This concept was introduced by the humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers, who believed that incongruence can cause a variety of problems, including anxiety, low self-esteem, and even physical health issues. According to Rogers, the greater the gap between our perceived and ideal selves, the more likely we are to experience these negative effects.
How Incongruence Affects Us
Incongruence can have a significant impact on our lives. When we experience incongruence, we may feel like we’re not living up to our own expectations or the expectations of others. This can cause feelings of shame, guilt, and disappointment. We may also feel anxious or depressed, as we struggle to reconcile the gap between our perceived and ideal selves.
In some cases, incongruence can lead to a lack of authenticity in our lives. When we’re not living up to our true selves, we may feel like we’re living a lie or being untrue to ourselves. This can lead to feelings of disconnection and isolation from others.
Examples of Incongruence
There are many examples of incongruence that can occur in our daily lives. For example, imagine a person who values honesty and integrity but lies to their boss to avoid getting in trouble. This person may experience incongruence because their actions do not align with their values.
Another example of incongruence might be a person who wants to be a successful entrepreneur but feels like they lack the skills and knowledge to make it happen. This person may experience feelings of self-doubt and anxiety because their perceived self does not align with their ideal self.
Incongruence can also occur in relationships. For example, imagine a couple who values open communication but struggles to talk about their feelings. This couple may experience incongruence because their actions do not align with their values.
In conclusion, incongruence is a common experience in psychology that can have significant impacts on our lives. By understanding this concept, we can work to identify and address the gaps between our perceived and ideal selves, leading to greater authenticity, happiness, and fulfillment.