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10 Crazy Facts That Will Make You Cringe

3 statues of monkeys with one holding its ears, one holding its eyes, and one holding its mouth
Photo by Joao Tzanno on Unsplash

We all like to discover new and interesting things in life right?

And who cares if these interesting things might be a little off-kilter.

Knowledge is power, right?

So take a break from all the crazy politics going on and learn something new below.

1. Do you take good care of your teeth?

How often do you brush every day? How about your anus?

A study in 2012 said your favorite tooth cleaning tool “could be much worse than a toilet seat” in terms of germs.

Not so pearly white anymore, are they?

2. Are you afraid of zombies?

Because you should be.

The number of dead people in the world outnumbers the living by 15–1.

But who in their right mind would ever consider something like that happening? Haha.

Except for the pentagon, of course.

3. Do you normally commute to work on a train?

You might want to wear a mask next time, for other reasons than a virus.

Biologists from the University of Colorado took air samples in New York subway stations over 2 years. They found about 15% of all matter in the samples was human skin.

I guess you can skip the protein shake when things get back to normal if you’re commuting.

4. Do you have a runny nose on the inside?

If you’re human, chances are you do. Because we produce up to 0.375 gallons per day (1.4 litres) of mucus every single day — and unconsciously swallow most of it.

5. Do you have a cute pupper at home?

Does it love to play with that adorable squeaky toy you bought it for Christmas last year?

If it does, that’s because your dog wants to hear the screams of a dying animal caught in its maul.

It’s thought the squeaking noises of toys mimic injured animals and kick in our dogs’ natural wolf instincts.

That poor rubber duckie never stood a chance.

6. How hot do you like your chocolate lava cake?

What if it was made from real lava and could wipe out 1 billion people?

Because there’s 40 supervolcanos dotting our planet today that have the potential to do just that.

The last one wreaked havoc on the globe about 74,000 years ago from Indonesia.

Oh, and geologists think we’re about 24,000 years overdue for another explosion.

7. Do you fancy yourself a faithful spouse and would never consider cheating?

Then why do you sleep with over 1.5 million dust mites every night?

You trollop you.

8. Do you have a bit of a sweet tooth?

I’m sure most of us enjoy an occasional jelly bean or chocolate covered peanut from M&M’s.

Not me though, because I’m not disgusting.

A lot of modern candy uses something called shellac in the final processing, to make them shiny and tempting.

Shellac is made from the excrement of a lac insect called kerria lacca.

Mmm, can you guess which flavor of Jelly Belly that one is?

9. But don’t worry about eating inadvertent animals in your food.

The government is here to protect you.

In this case, the FDA only allows a maximum of 1 rodent hair and 30 pieces of insects for every 3.5 ounces of peanut butter on shelves at a grocery store near you!

And who said the government doesn’t care about us?

10. And last but not least — the Cookie Monster’s real name is Sid.

I didn’t make that up.

J.J. Pryor

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